American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, 43. //=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f? But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth.
125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life Laugh until you gasp for breath. Its important in life if you dont give a shit.
George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium Let George Carlin Inspire You! #shorts #georgecarlin #motivataion # Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. What exactly is viewer discretion? Stand-Up Comedy. Nobody seems to care. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. I hate a group of people with a common purpose. They should be more vivid. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? var cookie = cookies[i]; Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); born on May 12, 1937, I have certain rules I live by. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. In America, anyone can become president. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. And fight songs. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. They're imaginary. George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. init: function() {
George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. } googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); "https:" : "http:") + Teach them to question everything. Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Ever. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. We havent tried that for a while. Right in the fucking head! We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. Never argue with an idiot. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. //]]>. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. ' George Carlin, 30. } pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. 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George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) //]]> Because theres no money in that problem. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. And the supreme arrogance? A.async = !0; googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. Topics. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) #government. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. This is what we have to offer. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14.
The 531+ Vicious Quotes Page 5 - QUOTLR You should die first, get it out of the way. fetchBids: function() { //George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. "Never argue with an idiot. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. }, You have owners. October 29, 2004. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Manage Settings Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering.
George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads ! He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. We havent tried that for a while. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. Save the planet? If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. 2.
George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. Authors. gads.async = true; After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' 383 talking about this. George Carlin I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", BAM! "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); Are these people kidding? //Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote 4. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us.