So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. I tried to help you! [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! Cop: It's also against the law. Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Judy Winslow: Mom, when's dinner? I never got an 'A' before. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. [Steve is eating frozen fish sticks out of the box]. So you have to make every minute count. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. I will not give you a lock of my hair. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What kind of plans? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test. The valet gave me a tip. Laura Lee Winslow: [crying] Steve why do you always say things like that? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Get lost, Laura! Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. Carl: Uh-oh. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What? And you got LOUDER every time you made the Maitre D move us to another table. Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I prefer to call it sharing. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep? Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. Mondo do du chok! Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. Get up and get your own pie! Chico! If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by. The Steve Urkel NFL Draft Preview | Football Outsiders Laura Lee Winslow: You're lucky, you got into a great fraternity and all it cost you was your best friend. Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. Steve Urkel: You yelled at me and you called me a butthead! Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! Where did you get the money for this? . Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, well. Steve Urkel: [while Laura and Maxine hit Steve with two Boston Cream Pies] No, AAH!, WAAAH! Laura Lee Winslow: [after Steve gives her a ring] This is real! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art. Lt. Murtaugh: No, because I brought him back. Steve Urkel: My "play-ground pass"? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Freddy Krueger! Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. And if you call me names, do I not eat? 1. Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM! I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Hey Steve, Was'sup? Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: L means lousy. "Will you marry me for just one night?" 7. I met Raoul. The hot chocolate will be ready soon. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. Carl was his horse. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh really, why wasn't I told? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yes sir. Carl: What? We all stand nice and quiet until Gramps and Granny make it legal. I could hear him sobbing in his suspension chamber. If there was one thing I thought the show could have brushed up on, it would be the premise of the episodes. Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Way to go Carl! Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! We should put those pictures in the school paper. Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Eddo, Eddo, Eddo! Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? Steve Urkel: I have a spectacular evening planned! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: From my stay away fund- every year all my relatives send me money and hope that I won't visit them. Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. Carl: Who are you and what have you done with our son? Laura: Steve, I can't talk now. Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. Eddie: Name's Eddie Winslow, but my friends call me Eddie. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Bright side? Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Hey, wait a minute. Laura: For the last time, Steve. Steve Urkel: I can't! Steve Urkel: To keep the camera on him and forget all the other meatheads. You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying. So long! [stares at the racist cop] Black. Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. Carl Otis Winslow: [after being frightened by Pablo, the stick bug] Did you see the size of that thing? 430+ Dirtiest Pick Up Lines Ever - TheStallionStyle "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". Ms. Steuben: That's that's not funny, Steven. Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? So to see if he can find the best, Steve challenged a few men to put their usuals to the test!SUBSCRIBE to get t. Dadadadada! Steve Urkel: Danger's my middle name! I'm in this class. Me and Laura went ice skating together. Steve Urkel: I had my first allergy attack when I was nine. [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. Trying to cover it up would only make it worse. Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. Steve Urkel: Uh-oh, Mr.Frostbite. Laura Lee Winslow: [enters the room] All right, Curtis. Steve Urkel: Thanks. Steve Urkel: Steve Urkel! Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! Steve Urkel: [about the music video] This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck. Come here. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Steven Quincy Urkel (generally known as Steve Urkel or just simply Urkel) is a fictional character on the ABC/CBS sitcom, Family Matters, who was portrayed by Jaleel White. Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. Alexandre Dumas was black. A mouse to cheese! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Who do you think bought his first pair of shoes? Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Anywhere away from my Laura. I can't breathe! What did you do? Pick a general observation about her personality. Can you help me out? Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. Never snort with a hangover! 5. Laura: Doth thou love me? Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Steve began working on more elaborate inventions, and in "Little Big Guy" he had a new idea. Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. I never got less than than an A. Steve Urkel: So, I can't live with that! I'm sorry, call you next week? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh that's sweet, what did he say? You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. He's having the same discussion with his father. Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. 6. Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? Waldo: Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. Laura: This is just a model, right? Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! Laura Lee Winslow: No, I think we learned that Steve's experiments has gone too far. Laura Lee Winslow: He didn't need to. YOU'RE WHERE? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It's a tradition in the Urkel family to not consummate the marriage for three months. Steve Urkel: Look, I know the pay is lousy, the hours are long, and you hardly ever get the credit you deserve. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill. Do you have any idea how much you changed him? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Stevil was back and he was coming for my soul! Carl Otis Winslow: But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. You know what? I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere. [leaves]. And even then I knew it wasn't right. Richie Crawford: We're going to play with these toys for 30 days and return them, like Uncle Carl's going to do with his peanut helmet. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. Eddo. Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? That wasn't a rock video. Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Did I do that? He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. *You're* gonna sleep in the bathtub! Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! Carl Otis Winslow: I'm not finished yet. But our little town only had ONE library, and it was for whites only. Halawna, Oneisha: [pop up in the car Clarence stole] Surprise! Quotes.net. Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? If you cut me, do I not cough? She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. This semester we're Steven, you'd better get going. [laughs]. In the 1991 episode, Steve Urkel was the cousin of D.J.'s friend Julie (Tasha Scott), who gives Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) some valuable advice, after learning that she has to wear reading . We only have to make one quick delivery. and-so-the-balance-shifts-blog. [Steve and Carl are playing Gin Rummy when an infuriated, Eddie and Laura come into the house.]. Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. The man was open all day! Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! You'll never know how much time you'll have together. It's late. Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. 4 Mar. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Carl Otis Winslow: The guy who wrote The Three Musketeers? I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ground you for the rest of your life. Their own version of the 3 R's? Second question. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [laughing] Good one, Myrtle! I can't live like this. Laura: We're not going anywhere. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Officer Wigglesworth as played by Carl] We're on the same side of the law. Why, how low can you get? Then we par-tay, see no problem. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. Steve Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? We are properly trained. I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Harriette Winslow: You most certainly do. My parents play this with me all the time! Waldo put today's date on the flyer. "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Cassie Lynn: But, it's a lie! Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Steve Urkel to Return in Fuller House Season 4? - MovieWeb Laura: Well you're stubborn, irritating, loud, obnoxious, pushy, clumsy Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Rachel Crawford: Good. Steve Urkel: I hurt myself. Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. I feel stupid! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? "Clean up your room, Edward." 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, urkel - Pinterest Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why don't you take the guy's next door? Bazooms! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? I just wish it would all go away, Daddy. Harriette: What for? Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, cash is so impersonal.