husband drunk when i went into labor husband drunk when i went into labor

I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested. (I don't think he would like that job much!). Telling my sister that if we needed her, to call the house where he would be at and someone would give him a message, since he didnt think the baby would be born for quite a while. Look up the options available to you, enlisting help if you need backup, and have a hopeful, serious plan ready so there's no excuse for him to say no. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. After 19 hours of back labor and an emergency c-section, my ex went bowling with his parents. -One Funny Motha, While in labor with a placental abruption at 34 weeks, my husband says I think you should calm down. She told all of the nurses to shut up and leave as she recovered. -Kate, Right after my c-section, my husband asked the nurse in the recovery room if he could just lay down on the floor, saying I promise I wont be in the way. Nesting. 10000% this. While having my first son, I tore from one end to the other. When he stopped drinking for a month, we conceived right away. I was so out of it by this point (having no pain medication at all) that I did not know my husband had helped. Suffer. I was on the floor screaming with what I thought were bad early labor contractions, but later found out I was already in full labor. I had just had twins by emergency c-section, 6 weeks early. Not saying you aren't important to him..I'm sure you mean the world to him but having a child is a whole new/different kind of love that might just make him realize the drinking like he does needs to slow down. It also happened to be the night of our annual street party. -Anne, When the nurses asked how bad the pain was from 1-10 and I said 10, my husband said oh, come on it cant be that bad. said he was not paying for any unnecessary pain medication since he witnessed many cows giving birth and they just plop them out. When Orbalina Miranda went into labor with her third child at 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday, she left her two children asleep in their beds, in a relative's care, and headed to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital . I havent read all 237 responses, but did you get any from gay couples? I dont know why I remember things like that. After reading through all of them (and seriously, YOU SHOULD READ THROUGH ALL OF THEM, the thread might be the best thread ever), I have one question What about the phrase 9cm dilated makes men feel the need to abandon their unborn children to buy a sandwich??? My husband told me to breathe. What would make a soon-to-be-dad not realize the birth of his child is a momentous occasion? Thanks! When they dont have a limit, they will drink more than they need to and will surely be uncontrollable. Don't do it right after work when he's looking forward to sitting and unwinding. I didnt even realise I was annoyed about this, nor did I particularly want to be, but it just kind of snuck up on me. However, this might give you peace of mind for a moment. I feel your pain! Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. We had time though E was scheduled to be induced and, although I didnt realize it, I was actually in labor the whole night before. -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. When I woke up after the operation, the nurses unceremoniously kicked me out, but because I didnt have a cellphone, I couldnt call him and I didnt have my own transport. And yes, I actually fix my hair. LOVED reading all of the stories I thought mine was rare Money was scarce. Mum had gone in to hospital and he was working. Hoping to cure the problem. Ugh, Why Am I Not in Labor Yet? Slow To Start Labor I'm currently 38+2 days pregnant and expected to go into labour anytime as this is my 4th baby. She just had another baby and he quit drinking 4 weeks before her due date just to be safe. But still no medal. I almost left the house to officiate a HS basketball game (scrimmage) when she was in labor. Experiencing a craving for alcohol. It doesn't matter if its wine instead of hard drinks, the point is the dependency. I did tell him that HE would be the one calling them letting them know the situation. At the hospital he asked over and over If he could leave to go get himself dinner. He then moved to the toilet to puke some more before I yelled at him that hed better get the hell out of there because I needed it NOW. After 26 hours of Oxytocin induced labour our son arrived and my hubby had the balls to say jokingly Well, at least we know hes hers! There was never any doubt about paternity, it was just his stupid sense of humour. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. After our daughter was born he I tell her I need to go home. And often I wonder if this is healthy. A man can metabolize 2 drinks a day. Finally after I frantically run around the church for a few mins he calls back in which I tell him get all our pre packed bags and carseat ready to go Im on my way home she is in labor, we lived 4 hours from the birthmom. He did much better the second time. I spent the entire time in the hospital alone. Most women will go into labor within 12 hours of their water breaking, but this can happen much sooner. So there are nights of going to bed and retreating to our own sides of the bed. It was about 11:30 am when we finally made it to the hospital (which was on the other side of town) and after being examined by the nurse, was told I was going to have my child later that evening (at about 6 pm)! Yes, keep telling her that labor will sober him right up, and that he has to sit in the waiting room if he is buzzed, because that's totally the right answer. Woman Had Husband Murdered While She Was In Labor With His - Yahoo! First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? This went on all day. Second baby he was pretty good, except for when I would have a contraction (went through natural labors each time, no epidural, very little IV medication), he would look at the screen and say wow, that one went off the charts! and I would say you dont have to say that each time, Im going through it! The 25-year-old Los Angeles Rams wide receiver and his wife, Samaria Jefferson, welcomed their second baby together on Sunday evening, when Samaria went into labor during the Super Bowl, which Van . The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. So say he is out for a work meeting until 6, and he had 2 glasses of wine. Your rights as a patient supecedes his right to violate your peace and privacy. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We tackled more laundry. The dream doesn't end, and that's when I start to be afraid. Around 10 am he announces that he has to go home because the Popeyes he ate has given him food poisoning. However, this might not be a good decision, ever. Birthing partner 101: Advice for partners and dads during labor When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first. Its a disorder or an addiction that needs treatment than just taking the blame. Im straight, but if I ever go into labor Ill probably wish I had a wife. Exercise can be anything that gets the heart rate up, such as a long walk. But he's probably young enough where that can all be avoided if he changes his patterns NOW. Because, he was a little bit tired. My husband is kind - but his drinking is out of control I understand your concern about getting to the hospital when you're in labor, but have you considered the bigger picture? I feel bad that he lost his phone, but why was he throwing it in the kitchen sink? 10 Ways to Deal With an Alcoholic Husband - Marriage Not sure of this counts but after I had the baby I realized I forgot to pack underware so I told my husband to bring me a pair. I was asking in honor of my pregnant sister (aka Dr. B) and planning on posting some watch-outs for my very nervous brother-in-law before the big event. The following morning my husband went home to get his sugar meter (he is diabetic) that he forgot. I called him to come home and he suggested id feel better walking up and down the street. For example, someone might have a problem with drinking but deny it to themselves or their loved ones to avoid admitting they have a drinking problem. So here I am in the passenger seat, in labor, trying (graciously, mind you) to keep my moaning down so he can make this call. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. Baby. Know your own limitations. After threats, and having my parents call and force him to drive back. So I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital solo. husband drunk when i went into labor. I've tried explaining this to him, but he really thinks he deserves to unwind however he wants since he works so hard. Thank you all for this! DH managed to get to the hospital after his work in time to give me a quick kiss and be kicked out for delivery. The following morning,he woke up very early and went to work! I had read a list of what to pack on a baby website. My husband devours some of the Popeyes chicken and then comes back in and sits with me and then falls asleep. Let's get right into it- the top ways to make labor come faster after losing your mucus plug: 1. Into the car it went. laughing gas has been used as a form of pain relief since the late 1900's, although you're more likely to see it at the dentist's office than a birth center. Hopefully not, so perhaps you can work that angle to get him to realize that he has to drive you to the hospital. A Woman Dies After Childbirth, and Her Husband Asks Why So, do you maintain the rage? These are only a few of the symptoms that a person may have a problem with drinking. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. We checked into the hospital at 7am, they started pitocin by 8am, and he only stepped out of the room twice (to smoke :boo:) until 8pm when E was born. If he won't deal with that, you should. Some women experience other symptoms of labor with a bloody show: Cramping: You may feel period-like cramps that come and go over the course of hours or even days. A 'habit' of drinking more than 5 drinks in a night, thinking that he 'deserves' to unwind however he wants, these are signs that he dependent on alcohol. Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. I was always sad that I was alone when my sweet son was born. I could barely walk for a week after the c section, my normal recovery time for that is two days. My mom would have been my birth coach. Around 2am, I heard the scraping of a badly manoeuvred BBQ onto the deck and felt my husband flop down beside me into the bed. Why would you say that to me in THE THROES OF LABOR? So, he took a nap. Then 14 hours and a baby boy later, he called to let everyone at the office (a family business) know the good news. Yep, I was 8.5 cm when we checked in to the hospital). I am sure you are aware there are going to be a lot of long nights that you are not going to want your DH sleeping off his buzz. I told my husband in the morning that I had been in labor most of the night (he slept through it). He called the hospital and they said theyd call him as soon as anything happened. Im not sure where to start with my story and it has been 20 years and fresh in my mind. Woodward said the labor was moving fast and about 15 minutes later, the baby had arrived, even before paramedics had arrived on the scene. So this guy was supposed to NOT eat. -Amy, Mine watched TV with his face pressed against the screen because he couldnt hear it over my pain noises! good luck! I also worry about his habit when the baby comes, if he needs to unwind now it's going to get a lot worse when the baby is around as far as stress level goes. My daughters dad (who fortunately I had the good sense never to marry) kept his distance from me the last month or so of my pregnancy, which probably is what kept me from delivering in prison, but he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth. Life with an alcoholic husband is tough. Nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, and an overall feeling of being unwell. Sandals and flip flops are not recommended, especially if a situation arises where you may have to go into an operating room. What will you do if you're away or home sick but the baby needs to go to the ER at night because there is something serious going on? That is almost word for word what happened to me.except that I didnt push mine outI had an emergency c-section, so I had to push a wheelchair very slowly down the hall to get to the nicu to nurse because I couldnt walk without support, and I couldnt make the wheelchair go on my own while sitting in it. I agree not to do it when he's about to grab a drink because then he will just get irritated with you. Time. Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. "I finally snapped and said that I wasn't going to name my child an ugly name that I don't like for the sake of a woman that doesn't even like me," she writes. Lydia and her husband Steven Reece, 40, from Winston . -Lucy, About 30 minutes after our son was born (a full 24 hours of labor) my husband told me he was going to head home for a bit because he was exhausted. Most nights he drinks to the point of stumbling, and not . I thought that was all obvious to DH but apparently I was wrong. My Birth Story: I Can't Feel My Contractions | Women's Health Are there any good books for hubby that explain the importance of truly supporting the wife? While crawling along, my contractions got closer together and longer. I had our birth center bag ready. Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. If I were you, I would have a back up plan. My experience is pretty tame compared to most of these! , Thats awesome. The elevator went up to the maternity clinic where i had to yell for help because i couldnt walk. omg, i totally broke out in huge loud laughter when i read this.in a silent room at that. I wish you luckI would talk to him now about this habit! Drunk at Work: What HR Can Do About Employees Drinking on the Job - SHRM this is fantastic!! Andhe bowled the only perfect game of his entire life! I don't believe Alcoholics Anonymous is very effective, personally, but it's free and the meetings are plentiful, so it might be a good place to start. What is the typical personality of an alcoholic? If you want to read all 237 responses (and YOU DO), click here. And that he has a choice to make but if he wants to "risk" drinking each night then that's his problem if he isn't there. Because she was in labor, he should have endured what, no food, no water, no bathroom, what is good enough? My husband said that I should be more in pain, but I convinced him that we should still go to the hospital to get it checked, and that the worst thing that could happen was to get sent home. OP is due very soon with her 4th child - her second with her husband - and he's rarely at home. I was two weeks overdue, had been induced and then sent home because nothing was happening. I had a very, very fast labor (from nothing to a baby in my arms in 7 hours). I like the suggestion that if he's buzzed, he's not invited into the delivery room, and HE has to call his folks to explain why THEY need to drive me to the hospital. You can't drive yourself, and if he's been drinking that much then you are taking cab. Some places test moms for COVID-19 at 36 to 38 weeks or before they undergo a C-section, while others don't test at all or do it when a case of the virus is suspected. HELLO! if you need help handling your marriage with a spouse trying to overcome addiction. One such instance can be when they start behaving rudely under the influence of alcohol. he replied no it didnt and rolled over to try and go back to sleep. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. I Just know I need someone calm and sober with me when labor starts, not someone with booze breath. From funny to divorce-worthy to I-would-totally-understand-if-your-husband-turned-up-dead,here are 28 of my favorite examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. You are not going to want to have this conversation, but you have to. I gave birth in a Cambodian hospital that, well lets say was set up with top notch 1950s style equipment. Doctor goes into labor while delivering patient's baby Sure having a bonfire or watching a big game with the buddies and having that many once and a while is no big deal, but being unable, or unwilling, to stop drinking heavily on a regular basis should be a huge red flag. -Jessica, My husband unabashedly complained about a canker sore while I was in labor. Most of the responses ignore the real issues, blame it on men being stupid, or just excuse his behavior. I explained that his drinking like this gives me anxiety and I want our little baby brought into a happy, stress free world. He THEN started snoring and for about 30 minutes I tried to ignore it, but was just getting increasingly more annoyed with each breath he took. Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. Get this man an epidural. Youve done this before. -Meredith, My husband had ONE job, ONE. Pregnant . I waited in the car while my husband went in 5 minutes go by 10 minutes 15!!!!!! Unfortunately, real life doesnt always abide by my blogging schedule and sis gave birth last Friday night! Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. Here is a picture of him, having a little lie down with Jack about 20 minutes after he was born. You may come across situations where things go beyond your control, and you might end up in an embarrassing situation. took a look and her and said he was glad it was over and that she looked like a spider monkey. It helps release oxytocin, which is the hormone that causes your uterus to contract. I went into Labor at 1AM after Superbowl Sunday - DH drank a good part of the day and night and had gone to bed around 11 that. Mines more funny than bad: I went to the hospital 7 weeks early and had an emergency c-section because of HELLP syndrome. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? I told him if I missed my epidural window I would end his life. Unfortunately, the emerald fell out when I was in middle school so I bought a new one to replace it. By. And then figured hed take care of some business while he was on the line. Oh. On the way there, he takes a random left turn and lets me know he needs to stop at the ATM because he has no money. Honestly more hurt that thats more important, then it is funny! With our first child, he made me wait until the show Charlies Angels was done before leaving for the hospital. Bud Grace And Frankie Weight Gain . The heavy drinker, seemingly unaware of what is happening, become furious, resentful and enraged. TAKE A SHOWER NOW!!! When they were out (it was 2am after all), HE WAITED FOR THEM TO BREW A FRESH POT. Here . (Nurses are usually fabulous but it is always nice to have your own personal support person). I cleaned the house again. Alcoholics don't just drink hard liquorWTF? First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? Many, many people struggle with this same issue, and there is help available if he chooses to use it. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, Ive had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesnt feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. My husband and I were so excited that we jumped right into action. The men or the women that married men like the ones referenced in the comments? Luckily, I had the exact opposite experience . -Kirsti, My husband asked if he could borrow one of my pillows, because his back hurt and I had too many. Hes only a casual race fan, btw. I laughed out loud at several of these and realized that men just want to minimize the birthing. For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. He was about 4 minutes from the hospital but after 20 minutes he stillhadnt shown up. We went to a friends wedding about 3 weeks ago and I asked him before hand not to drink and he did anyways and got pretty drunk. You might also explain that it's his baby too, he may want to remember the event. examples of crazy crap your husbands pulled while you were in labor. "Had 'bloody show' for two weeks prior to my water breaking and even lost my mucus plug and NADA! I called my husband at work around 6 p.m. to let him know I was in labor with our first and he said hed be home to take me to the hospital as soon as he wrapped a few things up. When we finally got there and I was hooked up to all of the machines, he went downstairs and then returned with a whole pizza that he ate in front of me knowing that I couldnt eat because I was in active labor. Yesterday, my husband got drunk at his family's cookout. I waddle downstairs expecting everyone to be ready to leave and find them eating waffles and watching cartoons. So, accept the fact and learn to deal with it. Why do you women, not tell your foolish husbands long before you give birth, what you will not tolerate from him during your birth. When he finally woke up to go pee, I asked him for some ice chips and he told me he was tired and was just going to go back to sleep. My FI usually has a few drinks every night too but I am not really worried about him not being able to drive to the hospital because theres tons of people around us who would be more than willing to drive me there. I hope for the long term something or someone can get through to him so he can find a different way to relax. There is no pattern. ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** Sadly, this will only make things worse and nothing else. I'm worried, because I NEED a good labor coach to achieve my goal of a natural birth, but if the whole process begins with me being incredibly pissed at a buzzed DH, I will fail. Good grief you have issues. . He would still have had alcohol in his system and in hindsight, a cab or ambulance would have been a better mode of transport. My son is adopted but we were able to be at the birth. ! was my reply in the softest angry voice I could mutter. Besides, alcoholic people need reasons to blame people for their condition. 14 Things to Do With Kids in NYC When Its Super Cold Outside, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the East Village, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the Meatpacking District, 11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC, Harlows Hip Hop Class is the Perfect Palette Cleanser to Last Nights Debate. The next contraction, I look over to see him asleep. I HAVE to join in here. Using alcohol is not an appropriate way to cope with stress. 2-Year-Old Boy Is Found Drunk After Mother Goes Into Labor Hes pretty lucky the epidural finally kicked in halfway through their lunch date! Luckily, my own husband was a peach! He came back to the hospital with a thong. Braxton hicks are most often painless or at the worst, uncomfortable. I was laying on the bed playing And E was sitting in my desk chair. Suffer, dear. (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm.